I've been too busy to blog - well that's not really true because I have also spent hours doing crosswords and flicking through satellite channels trying to find something interesting to pass the time. I have enjoyed the BBC 4 Edwardian pieces, and at the moment my all time favourite is the RSC's production of Nicholas Nickleby which is running on SKyarts. If you think I'm being a bit highbrow, well I also watch Bones, Kingdom and almost any other mystery programme going.
It has finally crossed my mind that what I am actually doing is avoiding doing something else and that while I am so engrossed in such pursuits my life is passing before me at a spectacular rate.
Today I met a lovely lady, one of those beautiful souls whose mere presence in a room brings peace and tranquility.
I was visiting an open day held by a charity which occupies another unit in our courtyard. While the rest of us are busy making sure Mammon gets his dues, these good people are working with druggies, alcoholics and their families, friends, carers. They provide a fixed anchor point for such souls who inhabit such a turbulent world.
The lady was a volunteer who comes in on Tuesdays to offer Reiki and other forms of alternate therapy. Just speaking to her soothed my soul which has lately been intent on following a path of meanness and general irritability, the blame for which I had placed squarely on a colleague but now realise had as much if not more to do with the stresses in my life. About 10 days ago this colleague and I had a falling out over a purely personal matter and she complained about me to the boss. Since I refused to apologise for what I said (though I did offer to apologise for the way I said it) she has cut me dead ever since. Somehow, without it even being mentioned, spending a little time with the Reiki lady who is at peace with herself and the world brought it all into perspective.
I'm meeting a friend on Friday who is also a healer. I'm going to ask her for some help to rebalance my soul. I realise now, it's not going to just happen, this time I need help.
I also realised today how much I miss being a volunteer
Yesterday morning my mother asked me to get her some tights from Marks and Spencer and gave me the money.
Yesterday evening I duly returned with tights and shampoo (which she had also requested earlier)
I hand them over and as expected she says "How much do I owe you?"
"nothing" I say, "you gave me enough this morning to buy both items". (Actually my mistake was not to say "yes but because I bought shampoo too, you still owe me X".)
5 minutes later she aks if she has paid me for the tights. "yes" I say.
Again half an hour later
And again
And again
And again as she was going to bed.
But not again was I was leaving for work this morning.
Maybe she needs to sleep on it.
Because of the time of year there seems to be a lot about sacrifice on the TV.
I loved a "thought for the day" from last week about the crucifixion. I didn't catch who it was but his premise was that a religion that could survive despite its prophet (or deity if you agree with Constantine's decree) suffering total humiliation must have something going for it had me thinking. I have always believed that God can take care of himself - He doesn't need fundamentalists shouting death threats and throwing bombs to avenge a slight or insult to Him - He has His own merciful way of dealing with idiots. So I did wonder if the "sacrifice" made by suicide bombers would have such "theological" significance to fundamentalist Islam if Mohammed had not died in his bed, but had been martyred in the name of political expediency.
I also came across a Discovery channel programme about the Celts. It was harping on about human sacrifice - wicker pyres, bog bodies, et al - and the presenter sounded oh so smug about how we don't do that sort of thing anymore. Where on earth did she get that idea? IF the whole purpose of human sacrifice is to appease the gods so that the rest of the community can feel safe and prosper then surely sending our young men and women into danger in conflicts we purport to be fighting to combat the terrorists who threaten our safety is not so different. Just a different kind of mumbo-jumbo.